Just musings

Its 6:19 on a Sunday morning, and the rest of the family is asleep. I am such a morning person...mornings are my time, my sacred time, even; the time where I am an adult, alone. I would never actively choose that time, I think--or perhaps I should say, rarely would I choose that time; but its nice to be given the gift. Over a cup of ritualistic hot coffee, I listen to the strong wind swirl its fall sounds and cooler temperatures around our desert homestead. It is still dark; daylight savings time has yet to alter our perception of "day" and of "night". I am taking advantage of the moment to be grateful.

A year ago this September, we moved to our house. I guess I still think of it as our "new house", but I could not imagine living anywhere but here. It was truly a gift from God--I know we couldn't have managed it otherwise! We used to live in a pretty normal neighborhood with neighbors stacked upon neighbors and streets of houses all connected to each other with more neighbors, pretty centrally in our little town--we were three minutes from just about everything. Our new place is ten miles outside the city limits on ten beautiful acres of desert--and having grown up here, I think my desert is beautiful. Breathtaking, really. One of the few places left in this country where wilderness is still thriving, mostly because there is little competition to take it over--so many prefer the ocean or northern California with its Oregon-like weather and greenery, or the central location of even Lancaster or Bakersfield, which "they" consider a vast improvement on Ridgecrest. On our property, we have chickens; I had my first garden; the kids catch lizards and grasshoppers and even snakes; we have quiet and security; we have fruit trees, and a well; we are setting up for bees in the spring; my house itself is built like a rancher's home with a big kitchen to feed all the "hands" and wooden floors with a big open room perfect for a country dance--I am so blessed. I know I must have many in my life who, in passing, have wondered why on earth I turned back to our hometown for marriage, career and children--I think I was an unlikely candidate for one "stuck" in Ridgecrest. But--truly--this is my choice, and I love it here. Love it in my soul. I am so blessed.

Somewhere, in all of this, I have been wrestling the past good year with the ticking clock--are we done? There is a part of me that wants more children in a desperate way--an emotional way--but is it a spiritual way? I don't know. I am answered with the many reasons why not to--I want to take good care of the children I have, some of whom are entering the phase where they think they need less guidance but actually need more...I don't want them to remember Mom as "tired all the time." I don't want the cuteness of a baby (or two??) to replace the magic of a 9 year old, or an 11 year old; room is definitely an issue, although one I can talk myself around *fairly* easily; working is an issue that I can't talk myself around nearly as easily. I trust God will provide, but I don't want to "get through" any baby years. I want to cherish them, as I was able to with my three. I want to travel--and some days that yearning is huge. But--the future is an uncertain prospect! In my head I think I've convinced myself that no more children = opportunity to travel? And of course, neither of those things guarantees the other. Forgive me for the highly personal post. I think this is probably a common struggle of women my age ;)  and it helps me to write it out and process. I'm sure all the answers will now magically appear.

Mmmmmm; now back to my cup of coffee. Lay my small struggles down at the feet of the Lord, and revel in His love; Life Is Good.

Yet another sign of Fall!

The huge piles of fall/winter clothes hauled from the shed and spread all over my living room floor are slowly disappearing as they make their way through the laundry and into the kids' drawers :)  Definitely a fall-weekend project!

Bounty

What was left after a Saturday of dehydrating and saucing 

My Star Trek joke to the kids: The apple's core has been compromised!!

My two canning Bibles...one given to me for Christmas by my mom, and one that came my way from my Grandmother Pearl's house after she passed away; she was the Canning Queen! Lots of memories of coming home from Georgia with suitcases packed with canned tomatoes, beans, and jellies. Love you, Grandma

The final product! Mmmmmmmmm!!!

My husband said when I make applesauce, the house smells like fall. :)

Webelos

My son Daniel is 10, and started Cub Scouts in September. We were actually waiting to jump on the Boy Scout train in December, but my dear friend offered to start taking Daniel with her son--the boys have been friends for a couple years. Even though there isn't much time for him to "do much" in the program, he is loving every minute it of it! He earned the Fitness and Athletic Badge at this past Den Meeting. (uh, is that the right terminology?? We're new!) He moves into "11-Year Olds" in December, and then the things he works on go towards Boy Scout awards and on a new shirt. We are trying to get his religious knot before he leaves Cub Scouts. Its been great for Daniel, he really loves it! I am so proud of my (huge) boy. :)

Putting up apples

I started putting up the first of our 40 lbs of apples today with my helper :) I'll probably do two batches in the dehydrator--three if Larry will let me!! I love dried apples!! :) Applesauce is next on the agenda. This year, I think I am going to try apple butter with a "recipe" a friend gave me that uses the apple peels and cores from the apples. Can't hurt to try it out! I love my apple corer/peeler! I bought it from Amazon when I was first married, and made apple "slinkies" for my 6-year old Cindy and my 4-year old Lance. It is still working well!! (although somewhere along the way I lost the red handle cover...)

Miss Holly loves to peel and core the apples, and eat the "spaghetti"!

Letter Writing

There is a saying: necessity is the mother of invention, or something like that. In this day and age of communicative technology, letters are a truly disappearing phenomenon. But we have recently become an army family--my oldest daughter is in boot camp! We got a letter from her today, and just like a scene out of Little Women, we sat around the couch after dinner and read it aloud. The rest of the evening was spent writing letters back, and it was soul-warming to watch the kids learn in real time--"Mom, how do you spell this? Do I underline this? Should I ask questions? Can a draw a picture?" Gave them some dictionaries for the spelling, how old school is that?? We worked on our letters until bed-time. We should have a nice pack to send Cindy when we finally get her address. I hope she enjoys my bumper sticker. ;)

Broke in the new running shoes yesterday! Over the summer, I was doing 3 miles every day in about 42 minutes, and felt great! It was a long stretch of exercising for me, I tend to go in spurts...as soon as school started, the routine flew out the window. It was really the combination of rehearsals + school that did me in! The weekend after the show, I had dental surgery (no, no, it was really fun), and THAT has taken a week and then some to recover from. But I started!!! 30 minutes, 2 miles, and a Dr. Who episode. These shoes have a funny story; we were going to the ranch for camping and I had forgotten my tennis shoes. (remembered everyone else's shoes, though!) Right outside of Kernville there was a sporting goods Mom and Pop store--women's tennis shoes, size 10, for $12! Oh yeah! I never did get to use them on the trip, but that's another story. :p  They were great yesterday! Here's to another half hour today!